Conflict

In America today, the nation and the people are enveloped in conflict among many diverse groups including conflicts among members of political parties, nationalities, socioeconomic classes, and, closer to home, families. On a personal note, many years ago I concluded that I am not effective in handling domestic relation cases between husbands and wives, not due to the difficulty of understanding the law, but because of the emotions of the parties involved. Emotions often hinder the ability to make rational decisions. I greatly admire those who practice this area of law, but also feel for them.
Conflict within families greatly increases upon the passing of a loved one. The big items, such as bank accounts, investment accounts, land, etc., usually are not difficult to distribute. The difficulty comes with dividing the decedent’s personal items among the beneficiaries. The things that mom or dad possessed and that the children grew up with have great sentimental value to the children. These items are often what families fight over. The old idea of a parent or even a child tagging personal items for specific people is not effective, and can lead to increased conflict.
Not all conflict can be resolved, but an effective tool in limiting conflict is a living trust which lists assets to be distributed as specifically as possible. A Personal Property Memorandum can be attached as an exhibit to a living trust. In this, the person specifies particular items to be distributed to particular people. Such a Memorandum may be changed or modified as situations change. The more specific the person is in detailing how items are to be distributed in their living trust, or even a will, the less likely a conflict will occur within the family.
Consideration should be given to reviewing your existing living trust or will to see how specific it is in distributing your property and whether any changes need to be made due to additions or losses of family members.









